


The Valentine’s Switch

by tayraehug



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Harry, Bottom Louis, Established Relationship, Fluff and Smut, Happy Ending, It’s nearly all smutty fluff, M/M, SO MUCH FLUFF, Top Harry, Top Louis, Valentine's Day, angst is only at the beginning tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-14 01:41:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29411382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tayraehug/pseuds/tayraehug
Summary: "Hey, love?" Louis asked, putting his phone on the kitchen table and taking a deep breath.Harry kept tinkering with whatever he was preparing at the stove. "Yes?""I was just wondering...has there ever been something you've wanted to try in the bedroom? Together?"Harry turned around and looked at him, spatula in his hand. "Uh...I don't know, why?"Louis' cheeks burned. "I was really just wondering."**Louis Tomlinson had so much going for him with the love of his life, but the one thing he wanted, which he just couldn’t seem to ask for, was to top his boyfriend for the very first time.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 4
Kudos: 90





	The Valentine’s Switch

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fic I’ve ever posted and it is so very self-indulgent ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 
> 
> Also the title is a pun, do you get it?

Life was far better now than it had ever been for Louis. Far better. So unbelievably better it was ridiculous, and it felt ungrateful and, frankly, stupid to focus on one little thing that was wrong. 

Wrong might not be the right word. Nothing was wrong, there was just a thought he'd been having that kept picking at him, a desire. It kept niggling around in his brain with increasing frequency.

He wanted to top his boyfriend.

He wanted to top his six foot tall boyfriend, when he only came up to five foot eight inches himself (and he was not five foot seven, no matter what Zayn or anyone else said). 

Logically, Louis knew height didn't matter when it came to something like this, but he still couldn't help but compare himself to his boyfriend and feel inadequate when it came to the concept of topping. Harry constantly went on about how cute Louis was. How Louis' ankles and fingers and wrists were so delicate and pretty. How Louis' voice was so soft, raspy, and high-pitched, but with his thick Donny accent that drove him wild. How Louis' curves were artful and his bum was so plump and perfect, how could any queer man look at him and not want to spend days worshipping his body? 

All of that was so sweet, he appreciated when Harry said those things so much, but it didn't help make him believe he'd be good at topping Harry.

Harry, his gorgeous and handsome Harry, who looked more and more like a man every day. His jaw just kept getting more square, his neck thicker, his facial hair actually coming in without being patchy. He didn't even have his round hips anymore, he was just a solid hunk of man, and looking at him, looking at how flawless he was, Louis couldn't imagine anyone would think he could top Harry.

Louis was constantly spiraling around in his head. He was caught between, "I could never measure up. I could never please him the way he does me." And, "None of that matters! I can stick my dick in a hole just like anyone else with a penis!"

The biggest problem of all was he had never successfully asked Harry about his thoughts on the matter. 

He'd been psyching himself up all day, telling himself that when Harry got home from work, he'd bring it up. Before dinner. They'd have a mature, adult conversation about it, and no matter what, he'd be just as loved by Harry as he always had been.

The second Harry stepped through the door, however, Louis was thrown off his plan, he just didn't know it yet. 

"Haz!" Louis yelled from the couch, sitting up straight and smiling at his boyfriend. He always greeted Harry with authentic enthusiasm when he got home from anywhere, even if it was just the little shop down the street. He couldn't help it, not that he wanted to. Harry always lit up in response.

"Hi, Lou," Harry greeted him, smiling widely and shrugging out of his coat. 

"How was work?"

Harry carefully removed his boots as he answered the question, making sure to line them up against the wall neatly. He was very meticulous with treating his clothes with care. "It was good. The kids are sounding great, I reckon the spring concert will be a smashing success, which is a relief. Last year's was...rough."

Louis reached for Harry as he came closer. "It wasn't as bad as you think it was."

Harry sank down onto the couch and into Louis' embrace. "You say that, but I still have nightmares."

Louis shook his head. "You're so dramatic."

Harry gripped Louis' waist and hauled him into his lap with an, "Oof." Louis accepted the change happily. Closeness was good, a good starter for their impending discussion. He ran a hand through Harry's curls and began untangling a little knot.

"You might be right about that," Harry said, his voice dropping lower and quieter. "Because all I could think on the drive home was, 'If I don't get my hands on Lou in the next five minutes I'm going to die.'"

Usually, Louis would've grinned, maybe smirked a little, wiggled his arse around in Harry's lap, and flirted back. This time though, he swallowed hard and hesitantly asked, "Yeah?"

Harry nodded, pulling Louis closer so their noses brushed. "Yeah. Kept thinking about how pretty you looked this morning, making me eggs in your underwear."

"It was hot in here, I forgot to adjust the thermostat last night before bed," Louis protested weakly.

"I'm not complaining," Harry said with a devilish look on his face. 

"Harry, I...I want—" Louis choked on his words. It's too hard, it's too hard to say it when he's already looking at me like that, Louis thought mournfully. 

Harry ran the tip of his nose up and down the length of Louis' jaw. "What do you want, baby? I'll give you anything you want."

Anything? Louis opened his mouth but nothing came out. His throat stung with his frustration. Harry's hands were moving up underneath his sweatshirt, caressing his waist.

"Baby?" Harry prompted him again, tilting his head back to look him in the eye.

"I want to ride you," Louis blurted out. 

"Mm, love it when you ride me," Harry replied. 

And then they were off. They made out filthily, until they were rutting against one another and gasping into each other's mouths. 

Louis retrieved a small bottle of lube and a condom from a decorative box in the drawer of their coffee table. They'd started keeping them there ages ago, in addition to in their bedroom. They liked to stay in the moment when it came to sex, and not having to race up the stairs to get supplies every time they wanted to just sink into each other was very beneficial to that. Harry had a strict rule about always using a condom on the couch though. He said come stains weren't allowed in his "pristine home." It was really just a basic flat they were renting while saving up for an actual house someday. 

Soon, they were both naked and Louis was worked open. Soon, Harry was properly covered with a condom and lubed up. Harry stayed sitting upright against the back of the couch while Louis lowered himself down onto Harry's cock, backwards to give him a view of his arse. Soon, Louis was working himself up and down his boyfriend, grinding and rotating his hips, and bouncing up and down, anything to make Harry be loud and handsy. He loved when Harry held his bum tightly, loved when he waxed poetic about how it jiggled, loved when he smacked it and left pink handprints on him with a slight sting.

Soon, Harry moved Louis onto his front and began thrusting into him fast and deep.

No, no, fuck, Louis whimpered in his head. It felt good, of course it did, it always did with Harry, but this wasn't what he'd wanted. He'd wanted to do the work at least, if he couldn't get himself to tell Harry what he wanted. Tears welled up in Louis' eyes and he felt pathetically ridiculous. He pushed his face down into the cushion of the couch and berated himself for crying. The love of his life was slamming into his prostate, he shouldn't be feeling sorry for himself right now. Clearly Harry wasn't the only dramatic one in this relationship. 

"Fuck, Lou," Harry groaned, hands clenching Louis' hips harshly. "Let me hear you, angel. You know I love your noises."

Louis scoffed bitterly to himself as he raised his head obediently. He allowed himself to moan for Harry, to focus on Harry's pleasure so this could end faster. He clenched around the cock in his arse. Harry grunted as he got close.

"Gonna come," he gritted out.

"Yeah, fill me up," Louis rasped out halfheartedly.

Harry came, filling the condom and taking a moment to steady himself before removing his cock from Louis' arse and replacing it with his tongue and a finger. 

Louis' erection was flagging, self-loathing thoughts getting louder and louder in his brain. He leaned up just enough to grasp his dick and tug on himself while Harry worked on him from behind. He tried to get back to full hardness, tears still pricking around his eyes. 

"Lou, sweetheart, are you okay?" Harry asked, removing all of himself from Louis' body. He knew Louis too well. Louis wasn't making the right noises, or trembling, or asking for more. None of the things that would've told Harry he was enjoying his efforts.

Louis was so glad his face wasn't showing. "Y-yeah," he answered, still jacking himself off. "I just...I...I got kind of riled up while you were at work and got myself off before you got home...sorry," he lied.

A gentle hand was placed on Louis' lower back.

"If you weren't in the mood, you didn't have to—"

"I was," Louis said quickly.

"Tell me what to do. Tell me what you need," Harry requested, tracing a thumb around Louis' hole.

Louis bit his lip, squeezing his eyes shut tight. "P-put your mouth on my dick? You don't want come on the couch anyway..."

Harry carefully guided Louis to turn around, laying him on his back. He looked at Louis' partially hard cock held protectively in Louis' fist and then at his face and sat up on his knees, giving him a concerned look. Louis must've looked worse off than he thought. "Lou..."

"I...we...I guess I needed longer to be able to go again," Louis said sheepishly. He removed his hand and took a deep breath. "Just hold me?"

Harry slid down next to Louis and wrapped his arms around him. "Tell me next time, please. We could've waited. It's not nearly as fun if we don't both get to finish," he said lightly. 

Louis' mouth felt dry. "Yeah. I will."

**

Louis and Harry didn't have sex every day. Some days they did it multiple times, and some days they didn't get off at all. It was perfectly normal and healthy. 

But it had been five days and Harry hadn't so much as left a lingering kiss on Louis' lips. Just pecks here and there, warm smiles, caring touches, but nothing more. It really wasn't the right time for them to start a dry spell, not with Louis constantly at war with himself because of his shitty self-esteem.

Harry looked pretty manly, physically, but he wasn't exactly a "masculine" guy. He loved frilly clothes, jewelry, romantic comedies, being babied, using lip tint, and occasionally shaving his legs. It wasn't like he was some macho, hulk-like man who would be insulted for someone to even suggest he would bottom. Harry wasn't like that at all.

Louis had bad experiences in the past though. Ones that still made his stomach curdle with shame and embarrassment, and if they were repeated in any capacity, he'd have a really hard time getting over it. He couldn't bear for that to happen with Harry, as unlikely as it was. 

Before Louis, Harry had never dated a man. He'd found both men and women attractive in the past, but he had never felt the urge to really act on the homoerotic side of this sexuality before he'd met Louis. That meant that Louis was the only man to ever sleep with Harry Styles, and therefore, he'd never bottomed before. He'd never even been in a situation where someone would ask him if he wanted to. Perhaps he'd never even considered it, having expected to live his life with a woman by his side. 

Louis ran his hands over his face in frustration. The more upset he got, the harder it was to talk to Harry about this. Maybe if he just started a conversation about their sex life, without bringing up his desires first, and not at a particularly arousing time or place, maybe then he'd have more luck.

"Hey, love?" Louis asked, putting his phone on the kitchen table and taking a deep breath.

Harry kept tinkering with whatever he was preparing at the stove. "Yes?"

"I was just wondering...has there ever been something you've wanted to try in the bedroom? Together?" 

Harry turned around and looked at him, spatula in his hand. "Uh...I don't know, why?"

Louis' cheeks burned. "I was really just wondering."

"Kind of out of the blue," Harry half-joked. He went back to fiddling with the food. "I guess I've thought certain things were hot before, like back in the day when I was desperate and lonely and watched a lot of porn. I don't think I really picked up any kinks from that though, if that’s what you’re talking about.”

"Was it male on female porn? Because I'm not partaking in anything like that," Louis said with a small smile, trying to keep the conversation lighthearted.

Harry chuckled. "Yeah, it definitely wasn't gay porn. Pardon me if I hadn't yet realized nothing gets me going quite like a little punk ass Donny lad."

"Oi! Watch it with the 'little' shit. You're just a giant, you think anyone of average height is tiny," Louis huffed.

"I'm really not that big," Harry said. Louis could only see his side profile, but a dimple was etched into his cheek, clear as day. 

"Whatever. I don't want to get into that right now. I want to know if there's anything you want to try with me, but haven't brought up before," Louis pressed.

Harry was quiet for a moment, then said, "Maybe..." elongating the word.

Louis sat up straighter. "Really? Will you tell me about it?" He was half-tempted to cross his fingers.

"Um...well, yeah, I guess. But Lou, honestly, if you aren't into it, I won't mind. It's just something I've thought about a couple times," Harry replied.

"I know you wouldn't get upset if I don't want to do something in bed, H. Don't worry. I just want to know, I want us to have the best sex possible. Maybe we can enlighten each other to certain things. Like this. I want to hear what it is."

Harry looked over at him, pressing his lips together into a slim line. "You won't think I'm like...a sexual deviant?"

"You?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Harry asked, offended.

"Meaning you aren't the type to have a feces fetish or something."

Harry's mouth dropped open. "Ew. Lou! Why would you say that? I'm making food!"

"You asked what I meant!" Louis yelped defensively.

"Jesus, no. It's nothing like that. Good god," Harry said, sounding very distressed. 

Louis snickered. "Okay, so what is it?"

"It's, uh, well...remember when we role played? When we were in France? And you did an accent and we pretended we were strangers?" Harry asked, looking thoroughly embarrassed.

"Ah yes, when I was Louis," he replied, putting on a French accent. "And you were my tourist lover, had never seen the pretty lights of a city like Paris before."

Harry grinned. "Yeah. That."

"You want me to be French again?"

"No. Not that I'd mind, but what I meant was, maybe we could role play again some time? I'm not saying we have to plan it out or anything, we certainly didn't last time, or maybe we could plan it first, I don't know, I just thought it was really fun. Did you?" Harry rambled.

"Yeah, I thought it was hot. And definitely fun," Louis answered enthusiastically. 

Harry beamed at him. "Really? I mean, I know afterward we talked about how we liked it, but we were kind of drunk, I wasn't sure if it was something we'd end up doing again."

"We should do it again. Let's not plan it yet though. I want to just see what happens," Louis replied.

Harry raised an eyebrow, but looked elated that his proposal had been accepted all the same. "Alright. However you want it." With that, he returned his focus to the meal, while Louis was getting an idea.

**

Louis knocked on his own front door, giddy with excitement. He hoped this went well. He really hoped this went well.

The door opened and Harry stood there, looking at him with confusion. Before he could speak, Louis jumped in right away.

"Good evening. I'm sorry to bother you, but I was just jogging nearby and I hurt my ankle. Would it be alright if I came in to rest? Just for a minute, my husband should be by to pick me up soon. It's dark out though, surely you wouldn't want a pretty, young thing like me to stand out on this dangerous street all alone," he babbled. 

Realization slowly overtook Harry's face and he let out at a short laugh before opening the door wider and stepping to the side. "Of course I wouldn't want that, I've seen such terrible crime in this neighborhood. Come on in. I'm Harry, by the way."

Louis stepped inside quickly and toed off his Vans. "Louis. So what sort of crimes have you seen?" He made his eyes wide and tried to look worried.

"I've seen animals steal trash from garbage cans. I'm pretty sure that's illegal," Harry replied.

Louis considered hitting him. 

Harry grinned, sensing Louis' disapproval. "Oh, and I've seen some muggings and a car jacking. It's definitely very dangerous here," he embellished.

Louis fluttered his eyelashes approvingly and stepped into Harry's space. "Sounds very terrifying. You look so big and strong, would you protect me, Harry? Keep me safe?"

Normally Louis would never allow for any insinuation that he couldn't take care of himself, but this was for sexy purposes. There was leeway there.

Harry nodded and brushed a hand over Louis' hip. "Of course I would. Anything for someone so lovely."

Louis giggled. He couldn't help it, it was so ridiculous to imagine Harry actually hitting on some married guy. 

"I was just about to open a bottle of wine. Would you like some while we wait for your husband?" Harry asked.

"Oh, please. Thank you."

They sat together on the couch in the living room, slowly getting closer as they sipped red wine, chatting like they were strangers. It was just as fun as the first time.

"Did you see my wedding band?" Louis asked suddenly, holding his ring finger out for Harry. He'd placed one of Harry's rings on it when he was planning this, knowing how much Harry loved it when Louis wore anything of his. It was one with a large red gemstone on it.

Harry took his hand and pulled it closer. "I like his taste. I don't think it fits you quite right though."

Louis wiggled his finger and the ring fell sideways, too loose on him. "I know," he sighed heavily. "I've been asking him for ages to get it sized correctly for me, but he has yet to do so."

"That doesn't seem right. Any man should be beyond proud to have his ring on your finger, and to make sure it's just right for you," Harry said disapprovingly.

"Do you mean that, Harry?" Louis asked, leaning closer to him.

"Sure do," Harry rumbled out, lowering his voice and taking Louis' hand in his. "How's your ankle?"

Louis raised a leg and flexed his foot. "Still quite sore," he pouted.

"Poor thing."

Louis scooted a little closer, laying his knee on Harry's thigh. "What about you? Do you have anyone special in your life?"

"Oh, no. It's just me, I'm afraid."

Louis ran his fingers lightly up and down Harry's thigh. "You must get awfully lonely."

"I do."

"If I might say, you're very handsome. Why would a lad like you be on your own? Are you a player?" 

Harry's lips twitched. Neither of them had stopped smiling this whole time, but he seemed on the edge of laughter now. Louis didn't mind, it was meant to be fun. 

"No, I'm just waiting for someone to be truly special to me. Someone I want to spoil and cherish, treat like royalty."

"That's so nice," Louis purred, moving his hand to rest gently on Harry's chest instead. "I wish my husband was more of a gentleman like you. He's always leaving me to go out with his mates, and working long hours. I'm often quite lonely too."

Harry took Louis' wine glass from him and sat both of their glasses on the coffee table without breaking eye contact with him. When he sat back once again, he wrapped an arm around Louis' back, holding his hip securely. "You deserve someone who'd treat you right."

"I do?" Louis asked, giving him his most innocent look.

"Yes. Someone who'd dote on you. Someone who'd do anything to make you happy."

Harry's arm pulled Louis in and they kissed heatedly, tongues and lips touching with passion. That kind of kiss didn't happen between strangers, it was the kind of kiss only true lovers could share.

Harry moved over to enclose his lips around Louis' earlobe, giving it a light suck before tugging at it with his teeth. "I bet he doesn't even fuck you right," he whispered into Louis' ear.

Chills ran down Louis' spine. "He doesn't. He always just wants me to blow him, he never gets me off," he replied breathily. 

"Baby."

"How would you fuck me?"

Harry gripped Louis' jaw and looked in his eyes. "I'd give you anything you want. I think I know though. I think you want that pretty arse of yours treated right."

Louis nodded. "Yeah."

"Why don't you come up to my room, darling? I'll love you just right."

Hand in hand, they giddily made their way upstairs. As soon as the door shut they shed their clothes and kissed again, moaning and grinding against each other.

"You want me to bend over the bed?" Louis asked, panting. 

"Fuck yes," Harry practically growled.

Louis lowered his torso down onto the mattress, feet firmly planted on the ground and spread far apart, bum stuck up in the air. Harry massaged the meat of his arse in his large hands before delivering two slaps to the left cheek. 

"Such a fat fucking arse on you, baby. What kind of man doesn't want a piece of this?" Harry asked.

Louis waved his bum back and forth. "I've been so empty for so long. Please, H."

Harry lubed up his fingers and made quick, but efficient, work of opening Louis up. He couldn't resist give Louis' rim a little nip, making him squeak, before standing upright and lining himself up.

"Gonna fuck you so good. Gonna make you leave your sad sack of a husband," Harry announced.

"I want that," Louis gasped as Harry began pushing in.

The pace was brutal from the start, shoving Louis into the mattress over and over. He held himself up with his elbows, moaning wantonly and murmuring Harry's name erotically. Harry delivered another smack to Louis' cheek. 

The urge to have some of the power rose up in Louis, needy in his chest. "Do I feel good, babe?" he asked.

"Unbelievable," Harry groaned.

"I bet you'd like to have me like this again and again," Louis continued. He was breathing hard and sweat was coating his skin. It felt so good. "I bet you'd like to make me come over and over, never let me leave your bed. Make me your own personal whore."

Degradation wasn't something they ever really did, but Harry's hips bucked into Louis more erratically at that. 

"Fuck, Lou."

"You like that? Would you mark me up, leave me covered in little sex bruises and love bites, never let them fade? I'd always be yours like that. Everyone would know it too." Louis' eyes were shut as he kept being pounded into. His legs were straining and even that felt good like this.

Harry bent over him and began stroking his cock quickly, his fingers still wet from using the lube. "Yeah, baby. I want you to always have my come in you. In your belly and in your arse."

Louis' breath hitched and he let out a high-pitched whine as he came, his whole body alive with the electricity of his orgasm. Harry kept thrusting into him for a little while longer until he came too, gasping and breathy. 

They sat together on the floor, Louis between Harry's legs and held in a tight embrace, as they recovered. 

"'M definitely gettin' the floor messy," Louis said.

"It's alright. I was planning on doing a mop and wax on all the hardwood soon anyway," Harry replied.

Louis chuckled and leaned back against Harry's chest, feeling high on life and love. "Was that good? Like you wanted it to be?"

Harry pressed a kiss to Louis' damp temple. "It was perfect. You're so sensual and sweet and sinful all at once. I never had sex even close to this good until I met you."

"Same here," Louis assured him. He turned his head to press a kiss to Harry's neck. "I love you so much, Haz."

"I love you too, so much."

Louis closed his eyes and held the arms wrapped around him. That had definitely been a success, and even though they'd done something like this before, it made him feel better about the possibility of getting what he wanted. Or at least about not being laughed at for his desires.

**

Louis loved his job. It wasn't what he wanted as a long-term career, but so far he was perfectly happy to keep working at the daycare. He spent his days having fun with kids and taking care of them. It was so rewarding, even if sometimes it made him want to tear his hair out. He assumed that's what parenthood would be like someday. 

Even though Harry had a more professional job, as a band instructor for a school full of children gifted in the arts, it was a difference between them that didn't make Louis feel lesser than him. They both worked with kids, and they both played an important role in the kids’ lives. It was comforting to know they were alike in their ambitions like that, even with different ways of achieving them.

The problem was, his daycare had been under construction for a couple weeks now because of serious problems with the ancient piping and gas lines. He was home every day, taking his break in stride, trying to keep himself occupied with diverse activities.

Today his main activity was watching porn. 

Porn wasn't ever really his thing. He'd preferred to use his imagination and rile himself up with teasing touches everywhere, or read steamy romance scenes in books if he'd recently made a trip to the library. He did both of those far less ever since he and Harry had moved in together, being kept satisfied and happy with his man. 

He wanted to research, however. This porn-a-thon was to serve a greater purpose than getting off. He needed to see someone like himself topping someone like Harry. 

He tried various searches, begrudgingly typing in phrases like, "twink fucks hunk," and, "skinny man fucks muscular man." His results weren't good though. Even when he did find a video of a twinkish guy topping a big guy, it was never anyone that looked right. The men were too different from he and Harry, he wanted to know if it would work between them, specifically.

He knew there was no porn out there that would tell him such a thing, but he tried anyway. For an hour and a half straight he watched snippet after snippet of poorly lit, badly filmed pornos with god awful dirty talk and faked noises. 

When he realized Harry should be home in twenty minutes he cleared his browser history and went to take a shower, feeling frustrated and just a tad horny.

**

Valentine's Day was soon, and Louis was getting twitchy. They'd already made plans for the fourteenth, for just the two of them, and he already had Harry's gifts all wrapped up and ready to go. Holidays and anniversaries were very serious business to Louis.

He was stressed about the sex, was the thing. In the past he'd gotten dolled up, which really just meant he had his hair swirled up on his head as it was the only hairstyle he knew how to do on his own, and put on racy lingerie for Harry. He wore that now and then when the mood struck, but always on Valentine's Day. Sheer tank tops with openings on the sides, panties, knee high socks or stockings, garter belts, even a bralette a couple times. He didn't want that this year though. As fun as it was to watch Harry salivate over him, he felt like it'd negate what he'd been trying to get himself to go after for so long.

He couldn't stand the thought of disappointing Harry though. He was definitely expecting lingerie, given their past. As it turned out, that was just the push Louis needed to start the conversation with the man, funnily enough.

He waited until they'd had a fun day out with Niall and his girlfriend, to ensure the best moods possible for the both of them, then tugged Harry to their couch and told him he had something he wanted to discuss.

"Alright," Harry replied breezily, rubbing a thumb over Louis' knuckles.

Louis fidgeted nervously, but kept his hand safely in Harry's. "Remember how I asked if you had something you wanted to try in the bedroom?"

"'Course." Harry waited but Louis was having trouble continuing. "You don't have to be nervous with me, Lou. You can trust me with what you want."

Louis nodded, his cheeks tingling with heat and hope. He took a slow breath in and then released it just as slow before saying, "I really want to try being on top...not-not like riding you, though I love that, like—" 

"Fucking me," Harry cut him off in a deadpan tone.

Louis nodded, lips clenched together tightly. He wanted to squeeze his eyes shut too so he wouldn't have to look at Harry, but he was a little frozen in place, his eyes open wide. His heart was thudding harshly in his chest and honestly he felt like he could have passed out if Harry hadn't squeezed his hand gently and continued rubbing his thumb over his knuckles.

"Lou, relax," Harry said gently. 

Just like that, Louis was launched out of his brief paralysis. He got off of the couch and shoved his fists over his eyes, cringing hard. "I'm fine, I'm sorry. I swear, really, I'm fine. I just, it's cool if you don't want to try it."

He lowered his hands to rest them on his cheeks instead, peering down at Harry. The man looked slightly shocked. Louis suspected he was trying his hardest to conceal his most genuine reaction. 

"I-I mean I get it," Louis continued, taking Harry's silence for denial. "I mean it's me, innit? No one would ever expect—I mean to say—I'm sure you're quite, um, surprised I'd want that. And I...I know you've never done it like that with anyone before, so I really get it that you wouldn't want to do it. I just...I like the idea of—I don't even know if I'd really like it anyway. Maybe I wouldn't. It's really not a big deal. I'm sorry, I'm being crazy. I'm fine. We're fine."

Harry took a deep breath and reached for Louis. "Baby, come here."

Louis shook his head, eyes stinging. "N-no, H, really, don't feel bad. I'm the one being weird."

"Honey, you aren't being weird. You're just working yourself up because you're anxious, but I'm telling you, you don't need to be. Look at me, do I look like in freaking out?" Harry asked, gesturing to himself.

"No, but you look really shocked."

Harry held out his hand for Louis again. "Please come here. I need to hold you." 

Louis reluctantly took Harry's hand and let himself be pulled to the couch. Unsure of where to go, he opted for straddling Harry’s lap, hiding his face in his boyfriend’s shoulder. Harry's arms wrapped around him, a hand rubbing his back slowly. 

"We need to talk about this, okay? I know you can't help it, but you don't need to be embarrassed," Harry said. His tone was his softest and most soothing.

"Okay," Louis whispered, not moving from his hiding place.

"How long have you been thinking about this?"

Louis swallowed thickly. "In general or with you?"

There was a moment of silence. He'd probably surprised Harry again by admitting he’d been thinking about this for so long. "Both."

Louis straightened up to press his face into Harry's curls instead, breathing in the scents of his flowery shampoo and conditioner. "I used to think about it a lot, when I was a virgin. I thought about doing it both ways, but once I actually had sex, I really loved being on the bottom. And, well, you know what I'm like now, but back then, I was extremely pliant and submissive when it came to anything sexual, pretty much. I think it just took me a while to stop being so overwhelmed by sex. It was a good kind of overwhelmed though, usually. And I know now that you can be submissive while topping, just to be clear, but I hadn’t realized that yet. I only knew what I’d experienced first hand.”

Louis sighed and leaned back so he could look at Harry, trying to be brave. "And then I was dating this guy, some time during college, and I asked him if he'd let me top him. If he'd like that. We weren't even boyfriends, just kind of going on dates and messing around, having fun. But when I asked him that he got so offended, like being on the bottom is weak. Something to be embarrassed about, and ashamed of. And he ended things between us right then because he was so insulted."

"He had internalized homophobia," Harry cut in quietly.

"I know," Louis agreed. "But at the time it was just so humiliating, having this guy act like something I had done for him was so beneath him."

"That's understandable."

Louis ran his thumb along Harry's jaw, feeling better with every word. He'd never spoken to anyone about any of this, feeling to vulnerable even imagining it. Too embarrassed. Too ashamed. 

"After that I didn't get the urge again until I had my only other serious boyfriend—"

"Warren," Harry interrupted, pretending to gag.

"Uh huh," Louis chuckled. "I hadn't felt comfortable asking anyone before then, I think I needed a strong sense of trust between us because of that prior experience. So eventually I asked him if he'd let me top him, and he laughed at me." Louis could feel his face turning pink. "So loudly and meanly, openly mocking me for asking, and I thought it was going to be like with the other guy. But then Warren said, 'sugar, as if you could ever top anyone. You're the biggest bottom I've ever known. You're such a bloody pillow queen.'"

Harry looked affronted, lips parting in shock. "That's such a toxic thing to do to someone you're supposedly in love with."

Louis chuckled. "Well, we both know he wasn't in love with me, nor I him...but yeah, it hurt. It hurt so bad. I didn't even reply to him, I just left his apartment and let him fill up my phone with texts telling me how dramatic and annoying I was being."

Harry' eyes were sad, but kind. "I hate being reminded how hard that time was for you. How low your self-esteem was and how sad you were. I wish I could've been there for you. I especially wish Warren hadn’t been anywhere near you, making it all worse."

"That's so sweet, H, but I'm glad you weren't there. I learned to appreciate the good through that hard time, and I appreciate you so much, every day, and a part of that is because of Warren." Louis wet his lips thoughtfully. "And eventually I learned how to take care of myself again, and how to get out of bad thought cycles, for the most part. Sometimes I can't help it, and that is when I turn to you."

Harry smiled with kindness at Louis. "My brilliant and strong boy."

Louis smiled back at him. "Thanks," he said, slightly bashful. "I...I am okay if you don't want to try this. Or if you're unsure and need some time, or whatever. I just want you to know that, I'm asking you this because I trust you. With all of me. You're the best person I know, H, and all along I've known it was silly to be scared to talk to you about this, but my brain, or maybe it's my insecurities specifically, they try to protect me from being hurt like that again. So it was hard to expose myself like this to you.”

Harry looked at him softly. "Thank you for trusting me so much. I trust you too, you know."

"I do know," Louis confirmed with a crinkly-eyed smile.

Harry sat back a little more, still holding onto Louis, and let out a sigh. "I gotta tell you, I feel really relieved right now."

"Why?"

"Because lately, other than our recent role playing tryst, you've seemed kind of distant when we have sex," Harry confessed. "I couldn't be sure, but it just seemed like you were wound up tight, holding yourself back. Not your usual self in bed. And then that time on the couch, when I got home from work, god, Lou, you just looked so upset. I didn't know what to think. I had so many different worries and fears swirling around in my mind. I was going to ask you about it eventually, but I was afraid to push. And maybe also afraid of the answer I would get."

Louis felt awful. So shitty. He never thought Harry would be able to tell he'd been struggling, but of course he could. He was always so receptive of him, so caring and devoted. "I'm so sorry I made you worry like that. It's never been about you, though. It's all on me, okay?"

Harry shook his head, taking one of Louis' hands into his own. "You don't need to blame yourself. You weren't ready to talk about it, you can't help that. It's okay. I know now."

Louis dropped his eyes down. "Yeah, you know now. So what are you thinking?"

Harry squeezed Louis' hand. "I want to try."

Louis looked up, sure he hadn't heard correctly. "You what?"

"I want to try. It's something that's important to you, and that you think would bring you a lot of pleasure, so I want to try," Harry said simply.

"But, no, what about you? Don't do it just for me, if you don't—"

Harry put a hand over Louis' mouth. "I want it." He removed his hand to brush his fingertips over Louis' lips. "I really like the idea of you taking me. I'd never really thought about it, I guess. I've always loved what we have as is so much. But the idea of you giving it to me...yeah, I think we should definitely try it."

Louis' heart swelled. "Really? Harry, really? Are you sure?"

Harry grinned, his beautiful smile making Louis' chest ache with love. "I'm sure. Go easy on me though, alright? It's my first time," he kidded.

Louis nodded enthusiastically. "Both of our first times. How cool is that?"

"Very cool."

"So...how do you want this to go?"

"Well...can we start with just you fingering me the first time?" Harry requested.

"Yes, anything you need," Louis agreed. A slow smile took over his face. "Can I rim you a little too?"

Harry laughed. "Yeah. Treat me like a real prince."

"I love you," Louis breathed. 

"I love you too."

They sat there and smiled at each other a while longer, both feeling so much better through their openness. Louis didn't let himself worry about having to perform well just yet. He simply enjoyed the glow of taking care of one another through honest communication.

**

As it turned out, Harry had a high-pitched sex whine too. 

Louis had never heard it before, always getting breathy grunts and groans and growls from Harry when they had sex, but as soon as Louis' fingers massaged his sensitive bundled nerves, Harry sounded so much like Louis usually did, it was incredible.

Louis kissed the inside of Harry's thigh several times as he moved his fingers in and out of his boyfriend, applying stimulation to his prostate with precision. "Does it feel good, babe?"

Harry let out a wrecked laugh, cut off by another whine. "Good. Good, so good."

Louis couldn't help it, his grin was huge, spreading across his whole face. He removed a finger and slipped his tongue out instead. Harry gasped as the warm, wet tongue circled his rim, then pushed inside to caress his walls.

"Baby, fuck, I'm not gonna last," Harry said hoarsely.

"Come whenever you want, love. Want you to just lay there and feel good," Louis replied.

He sucked at Harry's hole for a while, then assumed his assault on his prostate with two fingers. He rose up to tongue at the head of Harry's cock, lapping up the bitter pre-come. He lowered his mouth around his length, pulling it off with slow sucks of his mouth. 

"Lou," Harry whimpered, his legs giving little jerks.

A hand fisted Louis' hair. He bobbed up and down Harry's cock faster, adding a third finger inside of Harry and thrusting skillfully. Harry came hard, moaning salaciously the whole time. Louis swallowed around his length, then pulled up to let the last blurts of come hit his lips instead.

He sat up and leaned over Harry, letting him watch as he licked the spunk off of his lips. Harry moaned and yanked Louis closer. 

"You're a little sex demon," Harry said huskily, smacking a couple kisses to Louis' lips.

"Excuse you, you mean I'm a sex angel. Of average size," Louis corrected him.

Harry chuckled. "Yes, my angel. How do you want to get off?"

"Just talk to me and jerk me off, I'm not going to last a minute," Louis replied. He sighed raggedly as Harry's fist closed around his achingly hard length. 

"I love how much it turned you on, fucking me with your perfect fingers and tongue," Harry spoke lowly.

"So much," Louis whispered, thrusting into Harry's fist. 

"Yeah? Imagine what'll it be like when you finally get your cock inside of me," Harry murmured.

"Oh," Louis gasped, his orgasm coiling up hotly, deep in his gut. 

"I'm gonna love it too, baby, I already know it. Gonna try to be good for you, just like you always are for me. Let you rail me however you want, and I'll make pretty noises for you—"

Louis came with a choked gasp that turned into a giggle when he came down from his orgasm. Harry smiled and took Louis' face in his hands.

"God, you're just..." 

"Just what?" Louis asked, relishing being in Harry's hold.

"Just perfect," Harry finished, bringing them together for a kiss. "You're always surprising me. In the best ways. It's one of the reasons I'll never have had enough of you."

"I'll never have enough of you either, darling," Louis replied sweetly. Ignoring the mess they both had made, he twisted their bodies together so they could snog each other breathless.

**

"I think you should fuck me on Valentine's Day," Harry said casually, comparing two different brands of bagels in his hands.

Louis leaned too far against the shopping cart in surprise and it almost rolled out from underneath him. "Really, Harold? You're gonna say that shit to me when we're doing our shopping?"

Harry smirked at him. "Why? Gettin' hot and bothered in the grains aisle?"

Louis rolled his eyes. "No. Just worried about any sweet little grannies walking by that might hear your foul mouth."

"Sweet little grannies used to fuck too, Lou."

"And some still do, but I'd say most of 'em would be scandalized by discussions about such things in a grocery store full of people."

Harry had the decency to wait until they were in the car, backseat full of groceries, to bring it up again.

"So what do you think? Will you deflower me on Valentine's Day?" Harry asked.

"Pretty sure you were deflowered in your first girlfriend's garage on a futon with a Nickelback song playing," Louis admonished teasingly.

"It wasn't Nickelback! It was Creed!" Harry cried.

Louis laughed loudly. He was glad no cars were coming down the road as he drove because he was cackling too hard to see clearly. "Babe, that's worse."

"Is not."

"Is so."

"Is not."

"Is so."

"Alright, Mr. I-Lost-It-In-A-Treehouse," Harry shot back.

Louis giggled. "Listen, the sex wasn't great, but it was pretty nice. I could see the stars and it was a pleasantly warm night."

Harry made little mimicking noises, mocking Louis. 

"Don't act like you wouldn't love to do it in a treehouse with me," Louis said.

"I'd do it with you anywhere, provided our chances of being arrested were low."

Louis giggled again, turning on his blinker to turn onto their street. "To answer your original question, yes. I will fuck you on Valentine's Day, you absolute sap."

"If I'm gonna give up my body for the first time, I want it to be as romantic as possible," Harry replied snootily.

"Sure. Let's go with that. It has nothing to do with you being the biggest cheeseball on the planet."

"Nope."

Louis looked at Harry out of the corner of his eye and saw him smiling as he looked out the window. The sight of Harry looking forward to bottoming for Louis made waves of happiness and adoration ripple through his chest. 

Even if they decided it wasn't for them, this was so much more than Louis had hoped for.

**

Louis still wore lingerie for Valentine's Day. 

All day long he felt sneaky and sexy wearing silky peach panties under his pants. Usually he would have worn more than just that for the occasion, but anything more and he worried Harry would have been too tempted to abandon their plan to enjoy himself fully. 

They had a spectacular Valentine's Day, as always. They made breakfast together and sipped mimosas, giggling like kids. They played a couple board games before heading out to visit Zayn’s latest art installation at a local museum. The museum itself was incredibly romantic, dimly lit with lots of chandeliers and candles mounted on the walls, but Zayn’s collection was downright erotic. 

They admired the incredible brushwork that wove deep plums and blues and reds together to create the female form in various states of ecstasy.

“So, I’m guessing being a dad hasn’t done anything to slow his virility,” Harry had joked.

Louis had chuckled and shook his head. “Guess not. Unless he and Gigi can’t find the time to go at it now that they’re parents, so this is how he’s coping.”

They fired off texts to Zayn to tell him how much they admired his work before paying visits to their favorite pieces in the museum. The glass exhibit was Harry’s favorite, always inspiring him to say how he wanted glass figures in their home one day. Since it was Valentine’s Day, Louis chose not to point out that it wasn’t a good idea to have art like that once they had kids of their own.

Despite it being pretty cold out, they went for a walk by the river and even took the time to sit by it for a while, cuddling and talking idly. Louis’ mind kept wandering to what was going to happen later that night and he felt stabs of nerves deep in his gut every time. 

They dined at a funky restaurant they loved going to that had live music. The tunes were slower and more romantic than usual, for the special day. While they waited for their meal to be prepared they took to the dance floor and slow danced together, smiling as they gazed into each other’s eyes. 

After dinner they decided to go to the movie theatre. It was one of their favorite outings, because Harry loved having Louis curled up against him in public, and Louis loved whispering little comments about the film to Harry and trying to get him to laugh at inappropriate volumes for the cinema. 

Back home, they exchanged gifts and crooned over them, thanking one another profusely. Louis had gotten a ton of their pictures together of their favorite memories and had them printed into a book with headings and captions. At the end there was a love letter to Harry from Louis, expressing how Harry was his best friend, greatest love, and most reliable partner he could ever hope for. Harry kissed him with tearful eyes after reading it.

Louis had also bought Harry various healthy snacks he loved, mixed in with sugary ones he normally wouldn’t buy for himself, and a necklace comprised of pearls. 

Harry gifted Louis an embroidery kit, a watercolor painting kit, a candy making kit, a box of bath oils and exfoliants and lotions, a stack of novels, and a writing prompt notebook. He explained that they were to keep him busy and entertained since he couldn’t work at the moment. He also got him a few sentimental knick knacks and a bouquet of flowers, as always. 

When they’d finished appreciating their gifts, Harry excused himself to the bathroom but opted to use the one upstairs. Louis could only assume this meant he was readying himself for sex and his heart started beating erratically in his chest. He wiped his palms repeatedly on his pants and tried to breathe evenly. He hadn’t been this nervous the first time he’d had sex in that damn treehouse, this was unprecedented levels of anxiety for intercourse for him.

His phone pinged, pulling him out of a panicked spiral telling himself to call it off or to just run away from home, and he saw Harry had sent him a text. He swallowed as he looked at the bed emoji, the fire emoji, and the gay men kissing emoji. He would’ve laughed at Harry’s way of summoning him, but his gut was too tangled in knots for him to feel amused. 

Slowly, he slunk upstairs and gently opened the bedroom door. He almost dropped his phone in shock when he took in the scene before him.

Harry was laying on his front, head propped up on a hand, with his legs folded up in the air, showing off the fishnets that ran down his legs. 

“Hey there,” Harry said cheekily, biting his lip in a pleased way.

Louis unstuck his tongue from the bottom of his mouth. “Hi...”

Harry grinned widely. “Well, as you can see, I wanted to get myself all pretty for you, since you’ve treated me to such things in the past.”

“I...yeah...” Louis said dumbly. 

Harry sat up on his knees, revealing a black pair of lacy boy-shorts as well. “Don’t you like it?” he asked, pouting dramatically.

Louis nodded. “Yeah. You look so sexy, love. I mean...goddamn, ya know?”

Harry laughed and then said, “Come here.”

Louis made his way over to him, feeling prickly with anticipation. Harry took his hand and pulled him onto the bed with him.

“Are you nervous?” Harry asked quietly, without judgement. 

“Yeah,” Louis whispered. “This doesn’t feel real.”

“It’s very real, my love. I want you so bad. You’ve no idea how much time I’ve spent thinking about having you inside of me ever since you told me you wanted it,” Harry replied, voice dripping with sensuality.

“Really?”

“Yes. I’ve been so fucking horny for you, Lou. Need you so bad.” 

Louis leaned in slowly to connect their lips in a gentle kiss. When he dared to deepen it, Harry emitted a soft sigh and pulled at Louis’ sweater.

Louis helped him remove the garment, then shimmied out of his pants and socks as well. “I wore something for you too.”

Harry ran a hand over the side of Louis’ silky underwear. “You know I love you in this color. It makes your tan little body glow.”

“Not little,” Louis murmured out of habit before holding Harry’s face to bring their mouths together again. 

Harry’s lips were so addictive, even after all these years. Soft and sure, moving with heated passion against his own. 

He’d fallen in love with Harry before they’d even had their first kiss, pining after his friend who kept an extra pair of sunglasses in his car just for him and demanded time to talk to Louis’ mom if she called while they were together. His friend who up until he’d gotten brave and pressed his deeply pink lips against Louis’ at a music festival with their other friends dancing nearby, had only ever dated women. That first kiss, that first admission of Harry’s attraction to men and to Louis specifically, had felt like hot lava rushing through Louis’ body. It had caused his heart to expand hugely in his chest, caused his love for the other man to spill over and be shown by Louis wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck and kissing him back like he wouldn’t survive if he didn’t have Harry’s taste on his tongue. 

This kiss felt like that one. Louis lowered both of them down against their mattress, situating himself between Harry’s legs to keep kissing his love. 

“Love you more than I can say, Haz,” Louis whispered, body relaxing against Harry.

Harry brushed his fingers over Louis’ cheeks. “But I still know just how much you do, because I love you that amount too,” he replied. 

Louis smiled, wanting to shove his face in a pillow and squeal because of how perfect everything felt in that moment. Instead he reattached their lips and didn’t come up for air for a long time. 

Soon, they’d both slipped off their underwear, though Harry kept the fishnet stockings on, and Louis’ fingers were lubed up. They shook slightly as he brought them to Harry’s rim.

“You’ve done this before, baby, relax. My only worry is coming too soon because you’re so damn good at fingering me,” Harry murmured to him.

Louis eased one fingertip inside of him. “You can come if you want. I’ll just have to draw another orgasm out of you if you do,” he replied with faked confidence. Harry smiled at him anyway, reassured.

He opened Harry up carefully, only brushing against his prostate, not massaging or prodding it like he had last time. Despite what he’d said, he didn’t want Harry to come until he was inside of him. The mental image of Harry coming on his cock made him quiver and burn up inside like a star in the sky.

“No rubber, right?” Harry asked breathily. “Want to feel just you.”

“Okay,” Louis agreed. He’d been hoping for as much. 

Harry reached for the lube and squeezed some out onto his fingers. He leaned forward and coated Louis’ cock in it, being almost unbearably gentle.

“I’m ready, baby. Please,” Harry said. The desperation in his voice made Louis feel like he could do this. That and all the other things Harry had already done for him that day, proving his love and devotion to Louis time and time again, as always.

Louis grabbed a pillow and Harry lifted his hips, letting him slip the cushioning underneath him to provide a better angle for them. He leaned over his boyfriend, looked into his lovely green eyes, then lined himself up. They both held their breath as Louis began to push inside. 

Louis’ arm shook a little as he kept moving into Harry, the magnitude of this moment for him making him feel lightheaded. 

“Oh,” Harry whispered, falling completely flat against the pillows.

“Are you alright?” Louis asked, moving a hand to run up and down Harry’s thigh comfortingly. 

“Yes. Please don’t stop, just—” Harry replied, cutting off as Louis finished pressing all of his length into him. 

Louis clenched his eyes shut, a small gasp coming from him. 

“Lou?”

Louis struggled not to move, not wanting to hurt Harry, but the pressure on his cock was so much more than he’d imagined. 

“Lou?”

“Fuck,” Louis spoke, a hand grasping Harry’s bicep like a lifeline. “God, Haz...”

“Good?” Harry asked.

Louis’ eyes opened. “So good.”

Harry nodded, breathing deeply, and slowly moved his hips side to side, like he was exploring the intrusion. “It doesn’t hurt. I just feel so...so much.”

Louis leaned down to kiss him, needing the distraction. They made wet noises as they kissed, Harry continuing his adjusting to the new sensations by moving his lower body bit by bit. All of the sudden, he lifted his hips and rolled them up then down, moving Louis’ cock back and forth inside of him.

“Ah, fuck,” Louis grunted. “Haz, can I go?”

“Please.”

Louis held one hand down on the mattress and one hand on the back of Harry’s neck as he slowly moved himself back and forth, thrusting into his boyfriend. “Fuck, I can’t...I can’t...” 

“Can’t what?” Harry asked, looking concerned.

Louis moved ever so slightly faster and tilted his head backward, lost in his feelings, both physically and emotionally. “I can’t believe...how fucking good this is.”

Harry’s answering grin was beautiful. “So good, baby. You feel so good.”

Louis let out a brief laugh of relief, then joined their mouths together again. Kissing Harry while being inside of him like this was unbelievable. He worried his body would break apart and turn to dust from how complete he felt. Surely he couldn’t exist like this, being given so much more than he’d ever hoped for. 

“You can go harder. I want it, want you to let go,” Harry uttered breathlessly against his lips. 

Louis moved faster, aiming right for Harry’s prostate and knowing he’d nailed it when he received a whimpered moan in response. He kept hitting that spot, absolutely awestruck by the sight of Harry in bliss beneath him like this, because of him. He shoved his cock in all the way and held his position, eyes boring into Harry’s as he ground his hips against Harry’s pelvis. The head of his cock rolled repeatedly against Harry’s prostate as Louis rotated his hips. Harry gasped loudly, gripping Louis’ shoulder in one hand and the bedsheet in the other. 

“Fuck! Oh my...fuck,” Harry moaned, shaking as he tried to shove his body down to get Louis’ cock in even deeper. 

“God, you look so gorgeous like this,” Louis said reverently. 

He kept moving like that, watching as one of Harry’s arms flew backward and he gripped a bar on their headboard tightly in his fist. Louis pistoned his hips back and forth again, fucking Harry with intent, not holding back at all as he saw how much Harry loved it. He shoved in hard again and ground himself against Harry’s prostate and got the shock of his life as Harry cried out loudly and came all over himself.

“Holy shit,” Louis whispered.

Harry breathed raggedly, then slowly relaxed against the bed again. “I came untouched,” he stated. 

“Yeah, you did,” Louis laughed in amazement.

Harry grabbed Louis’ hips and guided him to start moving again. “Fuck me, baby. I want you to come in me so bad.”

Louis groaned and followed his order, fucking into Harry with fervor. “You’re fucking perfect, Haz. So perfect.”

Louis chased his own orgasm, but shortly realized that Harry was getting hard again. 

“Oh god,” Harry mumbled, eyes closed and arms wrapped around Louis. He kept mumbling inaudibly, working his body back and forth with Louis, making mind-melting movements together.

“I’m close,” Louis rasped out. It barely took a second longer for him to come with a strangled moan, pleasure and electricity zipping through his body, burning him from the inside out. 

He caught his breath for just a moment before pulling out of Harry and moving his body so he could lower his mouth down onto Harry’s cock, sucking him off like he was starved for it. Harry practically screamed when Louis’ fingers went back into his hole, rubbing his prostate demandingly. Harry came again and Louis swallowed it down, brain fizzling with delight.

He patted Harry’s thigh, then flopped his body down next to him, laying on his stomach. He’d never felt so boneless in his entire life. Giddy thoughts about his success at topping whirled around in his brain and he hid his face in the sheets, grinning like a loon. If he weren’t so exhausted he might’ve teared up. Instead he let out a muffled giggle.

Harry laughed loudly. “Jesus, fuck, baby,” he spoke, hands coming out to pull at Louis, clearly wanting to see his face.

Louis wiggled closer to Harry and tangled them up together, not minding the mess, as always. He grinned at his boyfriend, face coated in sweat and hair fluffed out wildly. “You liked that?” he asked playfully.

Harry barked out another laugh. “You’re unbelievable. Seriously, fuck. That was amazing.”

Louis pressed his lips to Harry’s for a slow kiss. “Thank you,” he whispered.

“For what? I should be thanking you.”

“Thank you for being so wonderful,” Louis continued, “Thank you for trusting me, for letting me, for wanting it too. I’m so happy.”

Harry looked at him tenderly, like a man deeply in love. “I still want to fight them, but I’m so glad your exes were too stupid to try that with you. I’m so glad I’m the first to have that with you.”

“I’m so glad all of your exes are women who showed no interest in pegging you,” Louis replied before laughing loudly and hugging Harry tightly. He never wanted to let go.

**

Later on, after they’d cleaned off and then taken a bath together with some of Louis’ new oils, then climbed into a clean bed swaddled in sweats and fuzzy socks, they tangled up together in an embrace once again.

“I have something I want to talk about,” Harry said, stroking Louis’ jawline with his thumb. 

“Oh?” Louis worried momentarily that perhaps Harry was going to say something about how he didn’t think he wanted to have sex like that very often, that maybe, somehow, he hadn’t enjoyed it as much as it had seemed.

“I’ve been thinking about this for quite some time, and since you were so brave to tell me what you wanted, I will be too,” Harry prefaced. “You know how we’ve always said that we don’t want to have a wedding, because it’s a toxic industry that sucks up peoples’ savings? And how saving up for a house, and for our children to have the best lives possible, is far, far more important to us?” 

“Yeah...?” Louis’ worries about their sex life dropped away and confusion took their place.

Harry took a deep breath before saying, “What if...instead...we got married anyway? What if we just took whatever date they have available and went down to the courthouse and got hitched?”

Butterflies didn’t even begin to explain what was going on inside of Louis’ stomach in that moment. A slow grin spread across his face. “Yeah?”

Harry grinned back at him. “Yeah. The cheapest, quickest ceremony possible. We could invite our families and a few friends to come watch if you want, or if you want it to be just us that’s fine too. We could wear whatever you want, suits or sweats or jeans, and use mood rings as our wedding bands for all I care.”

Louis laughed appreciatively.

“I just want you to be my husband. And I want to be yours,” Harry finished. 

Louis swallowed hard, throat stinging, eyes welling up. “So this is a proposal then?”

Harry chuckled and sat up, taking Louis’ face between his palms. “Louis Tomlinson, will you please marry me?”

Tears spilled down Louis’ cheeks, overwhelmed by everything. It felt like the world had shifted that day, his whole world even brighter and more beautiful than ever before. “Yes. Fuck, I wanna marry you so badly.”

Harry kissed him sweetly, stealing his breath. 

“As much as I love mood rings, can we resize one of your rings to be my wedding band?” Louis requested, playing with a lock of Harry’s curls. “I kind of fell in love with wearing your ring when we role played.”

“Fuck yeah, baby. Any ring you want,” Harry replied. “And what about me?”

“You love shopping for rings. We’ll find you the perfect one,” Louis assured him. 

They kissed again, slowly, for long minutes.

“Haz?” Louis whispered.

“Yeah?”

“How are we going to decide who gets to fuck who on our wedding night?”

Harry threw his head back and cackled, jostling Louis around in his arms. “What if, I fuck you until I come, then you fuck me until you come?”

A shiver ran down Louis’ spine. “Fuck, yes.” 

Their lips met again. They were far too tired to go another round, but the kiss was filthy anyway. 

Louis pulled away and smirked at his fiancée. “Just to make sure we’re prepared, we should do a practice round of that in the morning.”

Harry giggled helplessly and nodded in agreement. “Okay. As long as I get to wear my fishnets again.”

“Of course. Oh, and one more thing. Make sure to mention in your vows how you were brave enough to ask me to marry you because I told you I wanted to top you. Our families will love that.”

<3

**Author's Note:**

> ~leave a comment if you enjoyed. thanks for reading~


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